Audition, Audition, and Audition Again

"But I'm not going to get the part anyway."

"I can't decide on an audition song."

"My resume will look like a joke next to the others, I'm way under qualified."

"I'm too fat/skinny/tall/short/young/old."

"I'm going to emberass myself"

Making excuses for why not to audition seems to be the speciality of actors and actresses everywhere. By scheduling an audition appointment, you're admitting to yourself that you could potentially be right for this role, that you could have a chance. And, in turn, opening yourself up for rejection and criticism. It's a scary thought, and as much as we all channel our inner Queen Idina once we are cast, walking into that audition room is a whole nother story.
I used to be the same way. I undoubtedly missed out on countless opportunities and roles because I chickened out of auditions. I was scared.

Then, I heard something that would change my approach to auditioning forever.

My first semester of college, I went to an informational meeting for general auditions at SDSU. I sat nervously in the back, my legs shaking anxiously. "Why did I even come," I told myself, "I'm a freshman. There's no way in hell they'll cast me."
I listened to the artistic team of professors give their speeches. You're all so talented... blah blah blah... We wish we could cast everyone.... blah blah... You all will surely make it a very difficult decision... yada yada yada.... the typical director spheel that we have all heard a million times. The last professor stood up to speak.
"When I was young, I was never right for the role." she spoke calmly, "I definitely didn't look like an actress, and probably 90% of directors cast me off before I even opened my mouth. But I'll tell you what. I loved to audition. I walked out onto the stage and no matter if they hated me, thought I was terrible, wouldn't cast me in a million years, they HAD to sit there and listen to me for my 90 seconds. They were forced to be my audience. And I owned it. It was my performance, my time to shine. I auditioned for roles were I was the wrong ethnicity, wrong age, way underqualified. And you know what? I got better. I got so much better because I was performing my heart out at every open call."

Suddenly all my nerves went away, and my shaking legs stood still. Is that really all an audition is? I thought. Just a performance? I had never looked at it that way. If I don't get the role, there's still people listened to me, watched me, and I'm performing for an audience-- even if it is just an audience of casting directors.
The next day during general auditions, I walked in confidently knowing that I was about to give the performance of a lifetime. I totally killed it, and I had so much fun; I wasn't nervous at all! Yeah, I didn't get the role, but that stage experience made me just a little bit better. After that, I auditioned for every single thing I could- community theatre, professional theatre, choirs, dance ensembles, commercials, films- you name it. And with each audition, I gave myself more exposure and gained valuable experience. I got called back for roles that I thought I didn't have a prayer for; I got cast in roles that I wouldn't even have auditioned for last year.
For young actors, I give you one piece of advice: keep auditioning! That 90 seconds that you get in front of the directors is time no one can take away from you, and you will get better from it. You have nothing to lose by auditioning- and who knows?! You might even get it. You can't get cast in a role you don't audition for- so audition, audition, and audition again.

Turn Off the Radio

I turn on the radio as I'm blazing down the I-5, looking for an upbeat song to jam out to as I fly by the gorgeous California Coast, but all I find is disappointment. This isn't because I'm some trendy hipster who only listens to "underground tracks that I'm sure you've never even heard of." It's not because I only listen to showtunes (I swear, there's variety on my iPhone). And it's certainly not because I have a problem with swearing (I watched Book of Mormon, after all). It disappoints me because a majority of these songs perpetuate negative attitudes towards women. This misogyny is a direct reflection of the disrespect towards women in American Society. The worst part is that many artists are subliminalizing these messages through catchy tunes- half the time you don't even know what you're listening to.

A few months ago, I was on a party bus en route to a date dance for my sorority. Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" was blasting through the speakers, and we were all dancing and singing along. Then I stopped. Wait... am I singing about Rape? His lyrics profess "I know you want it. I know you want it. You're a good girl. Can't let you get past me." Although this isn't even close to some of the notoriously crude rap songs out there, I was shocked. This song plays on the radio, I hear young kids sing this at the theatre. Not only do the lyrics sing about pressuring a women into sex, but they insinuate that "good girls" are incable of having sexual urges. So, although the woman keeps brushing him off, he knows she wants it. This encourages a culture in which men are taught not to take "no" for an answer. This contributes to a society in which victimes are blamed- she asked for it. She wanted it. Robin Thicke, let me assure you that she does not, in fact, want it.
Pop songs like "Blurred Lines" are only the tip of the iceberg. There are countless pop, rap, and even country songs that make Robin Thicke look like Mr. Rogers.

“I'm tryna find the words to descrive this girl without being disrepectful. Damn girl, who's a sexy b*tch.” – David Guetta 

I appreciate the effort to not be disrespectful, David Guetta, but calling her a 'sexy bitch' probably isn't the best route.

“When I first saw that bikini top on her she was poppin' right out of that South Georgia water. Thought 'Oh, good lord, she had them long tanned legs.' Couldn't help myself.” – Florida Georgia Line

When you remove the charming country twang, this song gets a lot more creepy, objectifying, and mysognistic.

 “Slut, you think I won’t choke no whore / Til the vocal cords don’t work in her throat no more?!” – Eminem

Yay domestic violence. Eminem, you are such a good role model. 

Some people might ask what kind of influence is Popular music having on our culture? But I think it's far more important to ask what kind of influence has our culture had on popular music? How has our societies values and beliefs been represented in pop music, and more importantly, what can we do to change those?
I don't want to live in a society where "b*tches ain't sh*t but hoes and tricks" is representative of our belief system.

Life Update: My New Apartment!

Yupp, I moved into my first place! The title of this post is a bit deceiving, though, as I wouldn't really say it's 'new,' since I have been living here for nearly three months now (sorry blog).

My lovely living room

After winter break,  I knew I needed a change- living in the dorms just wasn't working for me. I felt homeless. Not homeless like I did't have a place to live, but homeless like I didn't have a home. I didn't feel at home in the dorms, and when I visited my parent's house, that didn't feel like home anymore either. I needed a place of my own. So, I packed up my things, grabbed my Chihuahua, and within three days of making the decision to get my own apartment, I put the deposit down on a gorgeous unit in La Jolla. It's the perfect size for me- cozy, but not cramped. The location is wonderful- central, but not too busy. The complex is just right- peaceful, but not too quiet. And, most importantly, I feel totally safe and comfortable here. I couldn't have picked a better place!
Having my own place has been such an adventure! It has really helped me grow up and become more independent. Some of it has been really fun, like decorating the walls and crafting for my entry way; and some of it has been not so fun, like trying to cook dinner and accidentally making potatoes explode all over the stove (who knew you had to cut holes in them before you cook them?) But, coming home every evening to a gorgeous place that is all my own is the best thing I could ever ask for. I feel like a real adult, and that's kind of scary.
When I was young, I always looked at adulthood and childhood as black and white- One day you just wake up, put on a suit, and don't like to color or play pokemon anymore. But, as it turns out, the transition from adulthood to childhood is quite gray. Yeah, now I pay bills, and taxes, and go to college, but I also still giggle when someone says "duty" and still shove all my clothes in my closet when I don't feel like cleaning them. I still feel like a twelve year old, and part of me hopes that never changes.

I guess you could call this my 'dining room table'

I seriously love all the natural light this place gets in the mornings!

TV & bookshelf in the living room!

The entry way

My Kitchen (It's a bit messy oops)

I feel like the walls are so plain in here (but I'm too poor to get more artwork *sigh*)

My headquarters for schoolwork (aka netflix)

My bedroom

Actually obsessed with my showercurtain

Bathroom!

My porch is so cute I love it.

Spring Break Trips! 2015

This Spring Break was definitely an adventure! After spending 4 days in Mexico with my boyfriend and some of his friends, I went on a 8 day road trip with my family in our RV. I couldn't be more happy with my experience on both trips! It was a blast.

MEXICO!

We drove from San Diego to the Rosarito area, and stayed in a community called Las Gaviotas. It was beautiful, spacious, right on the beach, and felt totally safe! It was filled with mostly fellow-spring breakers. The trip was amazing, and we fit so much in to our short visit! We had the best (and cheapest) lobster dinner I've ever had in Puerto Nueva. We ate fresh seafood off fisherman's boats in Papotle. We bargained for souvenirs in Ensenada. And, I even danced on the bar at Rosarito Beach! Not to mention, the unforgettable memories at our humble abode on the Las Gaviotas beach. It was my first 'big' trip without my parents, and it couldn't have been more amazing! I made a video documenting our trip, check it out bellow! 

FAMIILY ROADTRIP!

Trip number two was a family road trip to Moab, Utah. It was the maiden voyage with our brand new RV, so we really weren't sure what to expect, but it truly couldn't have been a more adventurous and enjoyable experience. We ventured through Arizona, Nevada, Utah, and (of course) California. Our days consisted of hikes, breath-taking views, sand dunes, historic landmarks, river walks, and and lots of laughs. My mom did an amazing job of cooking delicious and organic meals in the microscopic RV kitchen, so it was wonderful to not fall behind on my weight-loss journey despite being on the road. 

Living on my own, I have really missed spending time with my family. It was so nice to have a week  snuggled into a tiny RV together, just enjoying each other's company.

Spring Break 2015 was the best and most memorable spring break to date! It was the perfect balance of crazy college adventure, and invaluable family time.