WE GOT ENGAGED!

Yesterday, I got the best surprise of my life up at our favorite hiking trail in Torrey Pines. The love of my life got down on one knee and asked me to be his forever, and I'm so thankful to God for bringing him into my life! Stephen somehow coordinated everything without giving me the slightest inclination of what was about to happen- He had 4 friends videotaping and taking pictures, and our families hiding in the bushes waiting for the perfect moment to jump out and congratulate us!

We'll be posting a full video tomorrow showing the whole proposal, but until then I just couldn't wait to share our exciting news and some of our favorite photos capturing the moment!

Stephen had planned to propose at this gorgeous spot overlooking Torrey Pines State Beach, while our families hid in the bushes waiting to surprise us after he popped the question!

His friends had been kicking people out of this popular overlook to make sure we were alone for the proposal! 

As we sat on the bench overlooking the ocean, Stephen had my younger brother Austin sneak behind the bench and drop off the ring. As I turned to see who had run behind us, Stephen got down on one knee. When I turned back around I saw my future husband looking up at me with the biggest smile on his face.

 Before I even registered what had just happen, both our families ran out from the bushes and surprised us. Any chance I had left of not crying flew out the window.

This was the most amazing moment of my life so far. Thank you to our families for making it so special, to our friends for all the support, and to Joe, Mikey, Saveen and Brandon for capturing these moments in picture and video.

And last, thank you to my fiancé. Thank you, not only for proposing to me in the most romantic and thought out way, but for just being you. Thank you for letting me experience your cute quirks every day for eternity. 

Audition, Audition, and Audition Again

"But I'm not going to get the part anyway."

"I can't decide on an audition song."

"My resume will look like a joke next to the others, I'm way under qualified."

"I'm too fat/skinny/tall/short/young/old."

"I'm going to emberass myself"

Making excuses for why not to audition seems to be the speciality of actors and actresses everywhere. By scheduling an audition appointment, you're admitting to yourself that you could potentially be right for this role, that you could have a chance. And, in turn, opening yourself up for rejection and criticism. It's a scary thought, and as much as we all channel our inner Queen Idina once we are cast, walking into that audition room is a whole nother story.
I used to be the same way. I undoubtedly missed out on countless opportunities and roles because I chickened out of auditions. I was scared.

Then, I heard something that would change my approach to auditioning forever.

My first semester of college, I went to an informational meeting for general auditions at SDSU. I sat nervously in the back, my legs shaking anxiously. "Why did I even come," I told myself, "I'm a freshman. There's no way in hell they'll cast me."
I listened to the artistic team of professors give their speeches. You're all so talented... blah blah blah... We wish we could cast everyone.... blah blah... You all will surely make it a very difficult decision... yada yada yada.... the typical director spheel that we have all heard a million times. The last professor stood up to speak.
"When I was young, I was never right for the role." she spoke calmly, "I definitely didn't look like an actress, and probably 90% of directors cast me off before I even opened my mouth. But I'll tell you what. I loved to audition. I walked out onto the stage and no matter if they hated me, thought I was terrible, wouldn't cast me in a million years, they HAD to sit there and listen to me for my 90 seconds. They were forced to be my audience. And I owned it. It was my performance, my time to shine. I auditioned for roles were I was the wrong ethnicity, wrong age, way underqualified. And you know what? I got better. I got so much better because I was performing my heart out at every open call."

Suddenly all my nerves went away, and my shaking legs stood still. Is that really all an audition is? I thought. Just a performance? I had never looked at it that way. If I don't get the role, there's still people listened to me, watched me, and I'm performing for an audience-- even if it is just an audience of casting directors.
The next day during general auditions, I walked in confidently knowing that I was about to give the performance of a lifetime. I totally killed it, and I had so much fun; I wasn't nervous at all! Yeah, I didn't get the role, but that stage experience made me just a little bit better. After that, I auditioned for every single thing I could- community theatre, professional theatre, choirs, dance ensembles, commercials, films- you name it. And with each audition, I gave myself more exposure and gained valuable experience. I got called back for roles that I thought I didn't have a prayer for; I got cast in roles that I wouldn't even have auditioned for last year.
For young actors, I give you one piece of advice: keep auditioning! That 90 seconds that you get in front of the directors is time no one can take away from you, and you will get better from it. You have nothing to lose by auditioning- and who knows?! You might even get it. You can't get cast in a role you don't audition for- so audition, audition, and audition again.

Turn Off the Radio

I turn on the radio as I'm blazing down the I-5, looking for an upbeat song to jam out to as I fly by the gorgeous California Coast, but all I find is disappointment. This isn't because I'm some trendy hipster who only listens to "underground tracks that I'm sure you've never even heard of." It's not because I only listen to showtunes (I swear, there's variety on my iPhone). And it's certainly not because I have a problem with swearing (I watched Book of Mormon, after all). It disappoints me because a majority of these songs perpetuate negative attitudes towards women. This misogyny is a direct reflection of the disrespect towards women in American Society. The worst part is that many artists are subliminalizing these messages through catchy tunes- half the time you don't even know what you're listening to.

A few months ago, I was on a party bus en route to a date dance for my sorority. Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" was blasting through the speakers, and we were all dancing and singing along. Then I stopped. Wait... am I singing about Rape? His lyrics profess "I know you want it. I know you want it. You're a good girl. Can't let you get past me." Although this isn't even close to some of the notoriously crude rap songs out there, I was shocked. This song plays on the radio, I hear young kids sing this at the theatre. Not only do the lyrics sing about pressuring a women into sex, but they insinuate that "good girls" are incable of having sexual urges. So, although the woman keeps brushing him off, he knows she wants it. This encourages a culture in which men are taught not to take "no" for an answer. This contributes to a society in which victimes are blamed- she asked for it. She wanted it. Robin Thicke, let me assure you that she does not, in fact, want it.
Pop songs like "Blurred Lines" are only the tip of the iceberg. There are countless pop, rap, and even country songs that make Robin Thicke look like Mr. Rogers.

“I'm tryna find the words to descrive this girl without being disrepectful. Damn girl, who's a sexy b*tch.” – David Guetta 

I appreciate the effort to not be disrespectful, David Guetta, but calling her a 'sexy bitch' probably isn't the best route.

“When I first saw that bikini top on her she was poppin' right out of that South Georgia water. Thought 'Oh, good lord, she had them long tanned legs.' Couldn't help myself.” – Florida Georgia Line

When you remove the charming country twang, this song gets a lot more creepy, objectifying, and mysognistic.

 “Slut, you think I won’t choke no whore / Til the vocal cords don’t work in her throat no more?!” – Eminem

Yay domestic violence. Eminem, you are such a good role model. 

Some people might ask what kind of influence is Popular music having on our culture? But I think it's far more important to ask what kind of influence has our culture had on popular music? How has our societies values and beliefs been represented in pop music, and more importantly, what can we do to change those?
I don't want to live in a society where "b*tches ain't sh*t but hoes and tricks" is representative of our belief system.

Life Update: My New Apartment!

Yupp, I moved into my first place! The title of this post is a bit deceiving, though, as I wouldn't really say it's 'new,' since I have been living here for nearly three months now (sorry blog).

My lovely living room

After winter break,  I knew I needed a change- living in the dorms just wasn't working for me. I felt homeless. Not homeless like I did't have a place to live, but homeless like I didn't have a home. I didn't feel at home in the dorms, and when I visited my parent's house, that didn't feel like home anymore either. I needed a place of my own. So, I packed up my things, grabbed my Chihuahua, and within three days of making the decision to get my own apartment, I put the deposit down on a gorgeous unit in La Jolla. It's the perfect size for me- cozy, but not cramped. The location is wonderful- central, but not too busy. The complex is just right- peaceful, but not too quiet. And, most importantly, I feel totally safe and comfortable here. I couldn't have picked a better place!
Having my own place has been such an adventure! It has really helped me grow up and become more independent. Some of it has been really fun, like decorating the walls and crafting for my entry way; and some of it has been not so fun, like trying to cook dinner and accidentally making potatoes explode all over the stove (who knew you had to cut holes in them before you cook them?) But, coming home every evening to a gorgeous place that is all my own is the best thing I could ever ask for. I feel like a real adult, and that's kind of scary.
When I was young, I always looked at adulthood and childhood as black and white- One day you just wake up, put on a suit, and don't like to color or play pokemon anymore. But, as it turns out, the transition from adulthood to childhood is quite gray. Yeah, now I pay bills, and taxes, and go to college, but I also still giggle when someone says "duty" and still shove all my clothes in my closet when I don't feel like cleaning them. I still feel like a twelve year old, and part of me hopes that never changes.

I guess you could call this my 'dining room table'

I seriously love all the natural light this place gets in the mornings!

TV & bookshelf in the living room!

The entry way

My Kitchen (It's a bit messy oops)

I feel like the walls are so plain in here (but I'm too poor to get more artwork *sigh*)

My headquarters for schoolwork (aka netflix)

My bedroom

Actually obsessed with my showercurtain

Bathroom!

My porch is so cute I love it.

Spring Break Trips! 2015

This Spring Break was definitely an adventure! After spending 4 days in Mexico with my boyfriend and some of his friends, I went on a 8 day road trip with my family in our RV. I couldn't be more happy with my experience on both trips! It was a blast.

MEXICO!

We drove from San Diego to the Rosarito area, and stayed in a community called Las Gaviotas. It was beautiful, spacious, right on the beach, and felt totally safe! It was filled with mostly fellow-spring breakers. The trip was amazing, and we fit so much in to our short visit! We had the best (and cheapest) lobster dinner I've ever had in Puerto Nueva. We ate fresh seafood off fisherman's boats in Papotle. We bargained for souvenirs in Ensenada. And, I even danced on the bar at Rosarito Beach! Not to mention, the unforgettable memories at our humble abode on the Las Gaviotas beach. It was my first 'big' trip without my parents, and it couldn't have been more amazing! I made a video documenting our trip, check it out bellow! 

FAMIILY ROADTRIP!

Trip number two was a family road trip to Moab, Utah. It was the maiden voyage with our brand new RV, so we really weren't sure what to expect, but it truly couldn't have been a more adventurous and enjoyable experience. We ventured through Arizona, Nevada, Utah, and (of course) California. Our days consisted of hikes, breath-taking views, sand dunes, historic landmarks, river walks, and and lots of laughs. My mom did an amazing job of cooking delicious and organic meals in the microscopic RV kitchen, so it was wonderful to not fall behind on my weight-loss journey despite being on the road. 

Living on my own, I have really missed spending time with my family. It was so nice to have a week  snuggled into a tiny RV together, just enjoying each other's company.

Spring Break 2015 was the best and most memorable spring break to date! It was the perfect balance of crazy college adventure, and invaluable family time. 

What Love Looks Like

It seems like nowadays, having two parents who live together is pretty uncommon.
Even more uncommon, is having two parents who live together and like living together.
And just about unheard of, is having two parents who live together, like living together, and genuinely love eachother.
I say "just about" unheard of, because of my parents. I have never met two people more in love with eachother than my parents.

When I was growing up, I thought it was totally normal to have a mom and dad who pretty much acted like teenagers in their "honeymoon phase" 24/7. They cuddled on the couch when we watched movies, ALWAYS held hands wherever we went, skyped every night when my dad was on a trip, and a day didn't go by where I didn't hear them say they loved eachother. My brother and I would scream "EWWWWWW Gross!" at the sight of them kissing in the kitchen while making dinner, which was a very common sight.

As a child, I thought that that's how everyone must live their lives: You find someone, you marry them, and you're that happy forever. That's the way it works. That's the way it's supposed to be, right? But as you grow up, you realize that the way it's supposed to be, isn't always the way it plays out.

As I got older, I realized that my parents weren't the norm- they were the expection. By middle school, most of my friend's parents were divorced. And for those that weren't, they described anguish in their home lives and between their parents. Their was alot of fighting, anger, and even abuse, but definitely not love. I watched as the discontented relationships of their parents really took an emotional them. In highschool, many of those friends struggled to have meaningful friendships and relationships of their own.
If you don't have a working model for what real-life love looks like, how can you create it on your own? Yeah, Nicholas Sparks movies hot and steamy and romantic, but what happens when the drama is over and the screen fades to black? How do those characters create a healthy, loving relationship that will last a lifetime? I looked at my parents, and knew that that is what love was.

My parent's loving marriage is also what made them really great parents. By receiving so much love from eachother, they were able to pour that love into the lives of my brothers and I. They were always patient, loving, and joyful with us; Always able to be fun and silly with us. They loved spending time with eachother, which made for lots of family game nights, hikes, and trips. The meaningful relationships they built with each of us lead to amazing friendships between my brothers and I. Don't get me wrong, we still bicker like any normal siblings (probably moreso). But beneath that, we really love eachother and enjoy spending time together. My parents brought out the best in eachother, so they brought out the best in us. They created a household and a family that was truly built out of love and centered around God. They loved us so much, because they loved eachother so much.

My parents are going on 25 years of marriage and nearly 30 years of dating, and their love really does seem to grow every day. They truly showed me first hand what love looks like, and gave me the best upbringing I could ever ask for. With all the turmoil that my teenage years have brought, I always had a supportive and steady household to anchor myself in, and that is all thanks to my parents and the love they have for eachother. 

When I was 12, I was running errands with my dad. While we were driving, "All Your Life" by The Band Perry came on the radio. The words coming form the speakers said,

Would you walk to the edge of the ocean

Just to fill my jar with sand?

Just in case I get the notion

To let it run through my hand.

My dad turned to me and said,  "You know, I would do that for your mom."
And that's what I think love is. That's what my parents have shown me love is.

DIY: Spring Wreath

I absolutely LOVE Do It Yourself (DIY) projects! I've always been a crafty person, and being an assistant costumer at the Broadway Theatre for 2 years and joining a sorority have both given me plenty of chances to be creative and crafty. Now that I'm living in my very first apartment, I've been going a little crazy on the DIY projects to decorate. As a college student, my crafting budget is pretty much non existant, so I like to find ways to repurpose old things, and find my supplies very cheap. 

I've made a few wreaths before, but I've always followed a template or a picture from pintrest or a crafting blog when designing it. This time, I did it totally 'freehand' without looking at any pictures for inspiration or ideas- it was all me! I'm really surprised with how well it came out! Regardless of if you live in an apartment, dorms, or with your parents, wreaths are the perfect way to make it feel more "homey" and decorate for the season. 

Supplies:

1 blue flower busshel (dollar tree)

4 white flower bushels (dollar tree)

1 Medium Wreath ($5 Michael's)

4 Letters to Spell "Home" ($.50/each Michael's)

*Burlap 

*Blue Paint

*Sponge Brush

*Hot Glue Gun

***These are items I already had, but you can get them pretty much anywhere (Michael's, Dollar Tree, Walmart Ect.

Step #1

First, I cut about 6 inches of the bottom of the stems of the white flower bushells so they weren't so long. Then, I hot glued 2 white flower bushells on the left side of the wreath facing upwards. Use the glue generously, and don't worry if it looks messy- Once you put the bigger flower on you can't see any of the glue. Then, I hot glued the other 2 going the opposite way on the same side.

Step #2

Cut the stem of the blue bushell off, leaving only about an 2 inches of the stem attatched to the flowers. Put some hot glue on the end of the stem and stick it into the left side of the wreath in between the white bushells.

Step #3

This was definitely my favorite part because I love to paint. Paint the letters with a sponge brush, brushing only downwards so that the letters get that pinstriped look. Another alternative I considered in lue of having the wreath say "home" is using the house number for your address or your last name! I decided to go with "home" because there's a song in the Broadway Production of Beauty and the Beast called home that I adore.

Step #4 

Make a bow out of burlap, ribbon, or really any material! First, take the material and fold it so it looks like the breast cancer ribbon. Next, pinch the center of tthe fabric so that it comes together as a bow. Last, cut a 1 inch swatch of material to tie the center together. You can also add a little hot glue (I really do love hot glue) to the middle so that it will stay together. Now you have your bow!

Step #5

Hot glue the bow and the letters onto the wreath to have your finished product! Yay wreaths!

I had an absolute blast making this wreath! Feel free to follow the steps and recreate it, or make your own version. DIY projects are my favorite hobby, so look out for more on my blog in the future (: