It seems like nowadays, having two parents who live together is pretty uncommon.
Even more uncommon, is having two parents who live together and like living together.
And just about unheard of, is having two parents who live together, like living together, and genuinely love eachother.
I say "just about" unheard of, because of my parents. I have never met two people more in love with eachother than my parents.
When I was growing up, I thought it was totally normal to have a mom and dad who pretty much acted like teenagers in their "honeymoon phase" 24/7. They cuddled on the couch when we watched movies, ALWAYS held hands wherever we went, skyped every night when my dad was on a trip, and a day didn't go by where I didn't hear them say they loved eachother. My brother and I would scream "EWWWWWW Gross!" at the sight of them kissing in the kitchen while making dinner, which was a very common sight.
As a child, I thought that that's how everyone must live their lives: You find someone, you marry them, and you're that happy forever. That's the way it works. That's the way it's supposed to be, right? But as you grow up, you realize that the way it's supposed to be, isn't always the way it plays out.
As I got older, I realized that my parents weren't the norm- they were the expection. By middle school, most of my friend's parents were divorced. And for those that weren't, they described anguish in their home lives and between their parents. Their was alot of fighting, anger, and even abuse, but definitely not love. I watched as the discontented relationships of their parents really took an emotional them. In highschool, many of those friends struggled to have meaningful friendships and relationships of their own.
If you don't have a working model for what real-life love looks like, how can you create it on your own? Yeah, Nicholas Sparks movies hot and steamy and romantic, but what happens when the drama is over and the screen fades to black? How do those characters create a healthy, loving relationship that will last a lifetime? I looked at my parents, and knew that that is what love was.
My parent's loving marriage is also what made them really great parents. By receiving so much love from eachother, they were able to pour that love into the lives of my brothers and I. They were always patient, loving, and joyful with us; Always able to be fun and silly with us. They loved spending time with eachother, which made for lots of family game nights, hikes, and trips. The meaningful relationships they built with each of us lead to amazing friendships between my brothers and I. Don't get me wrong, we still bicker like any normal siblings (probably moreso). But beneath that, we really love eachother and enjoy spending time together. My parents brought out the best in eachother, so they brought out the best in us. They created a household and a family that was truly built out of love and centered around God. They loved us so much, because they loved eachother so much.
My parents are going on 25 years of marriage and nearly 30 years of dating, and their love really does seem to grow every day. They truly showed me first hand what love looks like, and gave me the best upbringing I could ever ask for. With all the turmoil that my teenage years have brought, I always had a supportive and steady household to anchor myself in, and that is all thanks to my parents and the love they have for eachother.
When I was 12, I was running errands with my dad. While we were driving, "All Your Life" by The Band Perry came on the radio. The words coming form the speakers said,
Would you walk to the edge of the ocean
Just to fill my jar with sand?
Just in case I get the notion
To let it run through my hand.
My dad turned to me and said, "You know, I would do that for your mom."
And that's what I think love is. That's what my parents have shown me love is.
I absolutely LOVE Do It Yourself (DIY) projects! I've always been a crafty person, and being an assistant costumer at the Broadway Theatre for 2 years and joining a sorority have both given me plenty of chances to be creative and crafty. Now that I'm living in my very first apartment, I've been going a little crazy on the DIY projects to decorate. As a college student, my crafting budget is pretty much non existant, so I like to find ways to repurpose old things, and find my supplies very cheap.
I've made a few wreaths before, but I've always followed a template or a picture from pintrest or a crafting blog when designing it. This time, I did it totally 'freehand' without looking at any pictures for inspiration or ideas- it was all me! I'm really surprised with how well it came out! Regardless of if you live in an apartment, dorms, or with your parents, wreaths are the perfect way to make it feel more "homey" and decorate for the season.
Supplies:
1 blue flower busshel (dollar tree)
4 white flower bushels (dollar tree)
1 Medium Wreath ($5 Michael's)
4 Letters to Spell "Home" ($.50/each Michael's)
*Burlap
*Blue Paint
*Sponge Brush
*Hot Glue Gun
***These are items I already had, but you can get them pretty much anywhere (Michael's, Dollar Tree, Walmart Ect.
Step #1
First, I cut about 6 inches of the bottom of the stems of the white flower bushells so they weren't so long. Then, I hot glued 2 white flower bushells on the left side of the wreath facing upwards. Use the glue generously, and don't worry if it looks messy- Once you put the bigger flower on you can't see any of the glue. Then, I hot glued the other 2 going the opposite way on the same side.
Step #2
Cut the stem of the blue bushell off, leaving only about an 2 inches of the stem attatched to the flowers. Put some hot glue on the end of the stem and stick it into the left side of the wreath in between the white bushells.
Step #3
This was definitely my favorite part because I love to paint. Paint the letters with a sponge brush, brushing only downwards so that the letters get that pinstriped look. Another alternative I considered in lue of having the wreath say "home" is using the house number for your address or your last name! I decided to go with "home" because there's a song in the Broadway Production of Beauty and the Beast called home that I adore.
Step #4
Make a bow out of burlap, ribbon, or really any material! First, take the material and fold it so it looks like the breast cancer ribbon. Next, pinch the center of tthe fabric so that it comes together as a bow. Last, cut a 1 inch swatch of material to tie the center together. You can also add a little hot glue (I really do love hot glue) to the middle so that it will stay together. Now you have your bow!
Step #5
Hot glue the bow and the letters onto the wreath to have your finished product! Yay wreaths!
I had an absolute blast making this wreath! Feel free to follow the steps and recreate it, or make your own version. DIY projects are my favorite hobby, so look out for more on my blog in the future (:
Although most college students have to slum through flipping burgers or answering phones until they have their degree, I am lucky.
There seems to be a growing industry, at least in southern california, of "birthday party princesses." A few years ago, increasingly more and more of my actor friends were working for these companies. It's the perfect fit for an aspiring performer: entertaining at parties and events on weekends, and pursuing their acting career during the week. I watched enviously on the sidelines, wishing I could have a job like that.
Not only do I love performing Disney songs (the notorious mezzo-soprano princess belt is right in my sweet spot), but I LOVE kids. Since I aspire to be a theatre educator, I couldn't think of a more perfect job... but I never even apllied. Why? Well, as a size 8 or 9 at the time, I thought I could never pass for one of the unrealisticly thin Disney Princesses. I felt unconfident and lethargic, 2 qualities that don't exactly scream "Disney Princess." So, I pushed that little dream to the side, thinking that I could never and would never look and feel like my beauitful friends who worked for those companies.
And then something really awesome happened.
Well, at the time I didn't think it was really awesome, but it turned out to be. 2 years ago, I went through a really bad breakup. Without someone else to constantly dote on, I was alone with my thoughts, and it made me realize how unhappy I had become with myself and my appearance. For the first time in my life, I was uncomfortable wearing shorts, I couldn't run more than a mile without stopping, and I definitely looked a far cry from "Disney Princess." So, I decided to do something about it.
My weight has always been something I incesently worried about. Throughout middle school and high school, I yo-yod from being thin to the point that friends and family were worried, to overweight to the point that I hardly recognized myself. I fasted, I binged, I purged, I took diet pills, I tried every crash diet known to man, and guess what? Nothing lasted. I decided that this was the end of that, and I was going to loose the weight permanently and in a healthy manner. Instead of focusing on weight loss, I focused on becoming healthy. I wanted to feel good inside, and overtime that translated to the way I looked on the outside. In the back of my mind, I always kept that goal that someday I could be one of those "Disney Princess" girls.
Over about 8 months, I lost 28 pounds. But more importantly, I gained confidence. I broke the cycle of gaining and loosing weight, and learned how to create a healthy lifestyle that is sustainable. People have been asking me, "what's your secret?" expecting some sort of one step magic "fix-all" that will make them thin and confident. The truth is, I didn't do anything ground breaking. I ate food, I drank water, I excercised regularly, and I didn't worry about having that 'perfect' body. I focused on myself, and becoming the person I wanted to be.
Today, I am supporting myself through college by-you guessed it- being a birthday party princess. I'm still a far cry from the slim 'ideal' waist that is perpetuated by Disney Princesses, but that doesn't stop me from looking and acting the part. Now I am healthy, happy, and confident, three qualities that make me look and feel just as much of a 'disney princess' as any size 2.
In short, size doesn't matter. What does matters is the way you feel. What matters is getting to a point where you can be body positive and comfortable in your own skin. Be healthy, be happy, be confident, and channel your inner Disney Princess.
Spring Awakening is undoubtedly one of the most powerful musicals ever written. It's pretty heavy stuff, and for some people that can be too much, especially because it's performed by teenagers. For those of you who don't know, Spring Awakening is a musical that centers around a young group of teens in the 1890's who are struggling with rape, abuse, sexuality, puberty, depression, suicide, teen pregnancy, abortion, and their sexual orientation, among other things. All but one of the characters lack an honest, guiding adult figure to help them through the difficulty of teenage years. The rest of the teens' parents just try and brush it under the rug, leaving the teens confused and at a loss for what is happening with their body and minds. The teens are without any truthful information about these tough topics, left to figure out sex and sexuality on their own. As I stated earlier, Spring Awakening is one of the most powerful musicals ever written. Why? Because this is a problem that we experience every day. It may not be the 1890's, but kids and teens are still growing up with misguided ideas about themselves and sexuality in general; And many adults are still 'solving' this problem by sweeping it under the rug. Educating teens on the truth about sex and their bodies is the first step in solving this problem. Yes, there are sexual education programs in schools, but so many of these give wrong and useless information to the students. My high school's sexual education program consisted of scaring us into absitenence by showing us all the different STD's we could catch, without any real information on what sex is and how it works; A friend of mine was taught in her seventh grade sexual education class that if women have sex before marriage they are "spoiled" and won't be able to find a husband; while another friend of mine, who attended private school, did not receive sexual education at all.
Upon further research, there are some really frightening statistics about sexual education in the United States. Less than half of the states in the U.S mandate Sexual Education, and only 10 of those states require the material to be medically accurate. According to a study done by PBS in 2008, America has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world. In addition, 41% of teens aged 18-19 said they knew little or nothing about condoms or other contreceptives. 64% said they had used the internet to try and find information about sex, and upon further investigation, PBS found that over 1 in 2 of these commonly used sexual information websites were innaccurate. For those kids who receive wrong information, or no information at all, they often turn to movies, television, and the internet to try and learn about sex. Do we really want our kids learning about sex from 50 Shades Of Grey? Yeah, I didn't think so.
I whole heartedly understand that parents want to preserve their children's innocence, and are worrried about them experimenting with sex too soon; But if we just give them real, useful, and honest information about sexuality, gender, and puberty then they will have the right tools to make educated decisions about sex throughout the entirety of their lives. Sheltering kids from the truth about sex may seem 'easier' than talking to them about it, but the result is really damaging. The fact of the matter is, if parents and schools don't educate teens on sex, they will get the information elsewhere; And that information is going to be tainted. Spring Awakening has a tragic ending. This 'censoring' leads to one teen commiting suicide, one dying of a botched abortion, two others damaged victims of sexual abuse, and one (the one who educated by his parents about sex) alive and in disbelief of what censoring has done to his friends. The lessons learned from Spring Awakening are of the upmost importance. Sex and sexuality need to be discussed truthfully, fully, and honestly with kids and teens. Let's make real life have a different ending, and stop censoring youth from the from the facts of life.
So I know New Years is like, a month away, but I've decided to start my resolution early this year. I've decided to scrap everything I've done up to this point and start this blog over completely. Before, this blog was centered on my personal ventures as I transitioned into adulthood, with a little bit of commentary on what was going on in the world around me. In my new blog posts, I'm going to change that. I'll be focusing more on my oppinions, current events, and pop culture, but I'll still sprinkle in bits about my personal life here and there, and include any big updates on my life. I'm also going to be writing alot about feminism, body positivty, and living a sex-positive life.
New posts will be up on Fridays!
Thank you for your support, and I hope you enjoy my new blog even more than the old one. I'll see you Friday, with my first new post in this new blog in the (not so new) year.
Until then, here's some pictures of baby turtles riding skateboards.
In today's day and age,
feminism has become a dirty word. You say "feminist" and they hear "bra burning" and "man hater" when what it really means is "equality." Let's take a look at how dictionary.com defines
"feminism."
So many men and women are
afraid to stand up for women's rights and call themselves feminists because of
the social stigma associated with it. However, the definition of feminism
represents exactly what the feminist movement is about: equality; Equality
among the sexes, and the end of gender discrimination against men and women.
As a feminist myself,
there is one thing that I have learned about my peers when it comes to the
feminist movement: they are uneducated. Most young people I have spoken with about feminism who do not consider themselves to be feminist do not understand what feminism is or what feminists are fighting for. Once I explained why I was
a feminist, and that all feminism means is maintaining a belief in gender equality, they
too considered themselves feminists! A vast majority of Americans are
misinformed and mislead about feminism. If our generation becomes properly
informed about feminism, I'm confident that nearly everyone would identify
themselves as a feminists, leading to a more equatible and improved society.
Who/What are Feminists Fighting For?
Feminists are fighting for
the social, political and economic equality of men and women.
Feminism is
fighting for Women.
Women are held to an
unrealistic standard, and told that there is only one way to be a
"real" woman in their appearance, their life choices, and their
career. Although great strides have been made throughout the past 100 years,
women still face mass scrutiny if they do not fit into this standard. A woman
who has multiple sexual partners is called a "slut," but a man who does the
same is put on a pedestal. Girls are shamed for being "bossy," while boys are
encouraged and told they have leadership skills. A woman who wants to work is
abandoning her motherly duties, but a man is stepping up and providing for his
family. This double standard is not only damaging to adults, but it is further hindering the upcoming generations of girls from reaching their full potential.
Feminism is
fighting for Men.
Despite it's reputation
for "man hating," the feminist movement is actually quite the opposite.
Feminism is fighting for equality among both
sexes, which includes fighting against gender discrimination for men too. Men are
told their entire lives that they need to suppress their feelings, to prove
themselves using violence or intimidation, to be into sports, to prove their
manhood by being hyper sexual, to be tall and muscular. Notice how many of
the pressures men face come down to defining themselves against women. It's
about shaming, belittling, and devaluing the feminine. From a young age, boys
are taught that in order to be a 'real man' they must be all of these typically
masculine things, and none of the feminine. These pressures and gender roles
are really harmful to society. Young boys are ostracized because they don't
like sports. There are college-aged men who are emotionally disconnected
because their whole lives they have been told that real men don't cry. Caring
fathers cannot get custody of their children because "nurturing" is a
girl thing.
Feminism is
fighting against Homophobia.
Homophobia is another
effect of sexism that feminists are fighting against. Many gay men are looked
down on because they often are more in touch with their femininity and may be
interested in things that women like (dancing, their appearance, sex with men).
Thus, society who shuns the feminine, shun gay men as well. Why would a man
want to lower himself to the level of a female? This sexism is just another
way society belittles the feminine.
Gay women are looked down
on as well. Women can't possibly survive without a man. Who's the man
in the relationship and who's the woman? This sexism insinuates that
women are unable to stand by themselves, without men; the idea that a healthy
relationship could not possibly exist without a man. It perpetuates
the unrealistic gender roles that society obssesses over.
Feminism is
fighting against this sexism, and promoting the ideals that there is more than
one way to be a 'real' man or a 'real' women.
Wait,
but I thought there already was equality?
Although great strides
have been made in gender equality, the battle is far from won. Many people
against the feminist movement argue, You got the right to vote, so why are
feminists still complaining? We must continue to fight until equality is
won. In fact, sexism in the media, in politics, and in the workforce has worsened, as well as the development of rape culture.
In the Media
One of the biggest supporters of sexism and gender inequality is the media. The media is
constantly, directly and indirectly,
reinforcing gender roles and stereotypes that are harmful to the American
public, especially the youth. In cinema, female characters are one-dimensional. They're young, perky, thin, and objectified by
men, with no real aspirations other than to find a husband, particularly in
animated films. The documentary film Miss Representation discusses the
reality of women in films, pointing out that between 1937 and 2005 there were
only 13 female protagonists in animated films. All of them except one had the
aspiration of finding romance. These animated films are geared towards young
children, and are ingraining into their minds from a very young age that this
is a woman's purpose in life.
On television, the problem
only worsens. Female news anchors are objectified to entice men to watch, commercials use the female body to advertise 'manly' products, female
sitcom characters who's only aspiration is to 'win the guy.' All of this and
more combine to tell young girls that their worth lies only in their beauty.
Undoubtedly, a huge reason for this is that women own only 5.8% of all
television stations and 6% of radio
stations (Miss Representation). This industry is predominantly controlled by
men; and without the female point of view this misogyny is running rampant.
With a more empowered female population, more women would undoubtedly pursue
positions of power and creativity in the media, thus leading to more diverse
female characters and less objectification of the female body.
In Politics
Even though women make up
51% of the US population, they comprise less than 20% of congress (Miss
Representation). This is a significant problem. Without representation in
politics, women's voices are not being heard. Societal pressure for women to be
obedient followers and the devaluing of women's worth by the media has
discouraged women from pursuing careers in politics. The women who do choose to
pursue a career in politics face endless
scrutiny and adversity.
When Hillary Clinton ran for secretary of state, news stations were flooded
with 'stories' on how she was unattractive, old, and bitchy, but talked very
little on her actual political platform and campaign, belittling her as if her
political stance did not matter because she was not sexually appealing. In the
2008 presidential election, republican party Vice President nominee Sara Palin
faced scrutiny on the opposite end of the spectrum. News media and television
actively objectified and sexualized her. Despite her impressive political
background, as the youngest ever Alaskan governor, news media did not take her seriously, discussing whether or not she had breast implants instead of what
her plan for our country was. How can we expect to elect women when we won't
even listen to what their ideas are because we are too busy scrutinizing their
bodies? Without feminism, we won't see growth in the roles of women in
politics.
In the
Workforce
Although great strides
have been made for equality in the work force, a woman's talents are still
worth less than a man's. In the U.S, women continue to earn 77 cents to every
dollar that men earn in the same job. (Miss Representation). By not
supporting feminism, we are saying that this is okay. That it is acceptable to
value a man more than a woman. In addition to this inequality, women in the
workforce also face endless adversity. Their leadership is seen as
"bossy" and they do not gain the same respect as men. Feminism is
fighting for women to not only be paid and treated equally in the workforce, but
to be given equal opportunities as well.
Rape Culture Societies inherent dislike of the feminine has lead to a culture in which rape and domestic
abuse have
become normalized. Society encourages men to be hyper-sexual and assert their dominance and masculinity, leading to generations of young men who don't know how to have
healthy sexual relationships or respect women. 1 in 6 women are survivors of
rape or attempted rape (Miss Representation). How can we allow over 16%
of women to be subject to rape? Our society has become desensitized to rape.
Last week at SDSU, fraternity men disrupted a rally against sexism and sexual
violence by screaming obscenities, throwing eggs, and waving sex toys at the
protesters (Kleeman, Sophie). Those who say that equality has "already been
achieved" need look no further than our own campus to see inherent proof
that we have a long way to go.
Everyone Benefits from Feminism Without these pressures and scrutiny that women face in today's world, women would be
more empowered. The percentage of females voting in the U.S would sky rocket; more women would pursue careers in politics and business, and the media would begin to portray women as something more than walking sex objects. This change in the media would disintegrate rape culture, and undoubtedly lead to a decrease in sexual violence. As the feminist movement continues to grow, men are freed from the inherent sexism that they face. As the feminine begins to be seen as something to be encouraged, not afraid of, men will be able to look at their feminine qualities as positives and won't be shamed for them. Homophobia would undoubtedly decrease significantly, with gay rights increasing. Gay men would not be shunned for having feminine qualities, and gay women would not be looked down upon for not relying on men.
Celebrities Supporting Feminism Although Feminism is often scrutinized by the public, many celebrities and public figures are standing up for equality and identifying themselves as feminists. Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars, John Legend, Ellen Page, Patrick Stewart, Tina Fey, Andy Samberg and Ashton Kutcher are just a few of the hundreds of public figures who have declared themselves feminists. In Emma Watson's ground-breaking UN speech on feminism, she discussed the effects that sexism and these gender roles have on men, "I've seen men made fragile and insecure by a distorted sense of what constitutes male success."
Ryan Gossling stood up
against the misogyny in the film industry in an interview with PopSugar
Magazine. He said, "You have to question a cinematic culture
which preaches artistic expression, and yet clearly supports
patriarchy-dominant society, which tries to control how women are
depicted on screen. They support scenes that portray women in scenarios of
sexual torture and violence for entertainment purposes, but they are trying to
force us to look away from a scene that shows a woman in a sexual scenario
which is both complicit and complex."
Daniel Craig (aka James
Bond) discussed the importance of continuing the feminists movement in an
interview with Wenn.Com. "Women are responsible for two
thirds of the work done worldwide, yet earn only 10% of the total income and
own 1% of the property…So, are we equals? Until the answer is yes, we must
never stop asking.”
Prince Harry has been a
prominent advocate for feminism for quite some time. Recently, at a feminism
rally in London, he spoke to the benefits of feminism. "Thank you for
showing your support for women’s rights…We know that when women are empowered,
they immeasurably improve the lives of everyone around them – their families,
their communities, and their countries. This is not just about women, we all
need to recognize the part we play too."
Say the "F" Word Loud and Proud!
Being a feminist does not
mean you hate men. It does not mean you are a lesbian. It does not
mean that you are a radical. It is not something to be ashamed of.
Being a feminist means
supporting men and women. It means
striving for equality in the media, in the workforce, and in politics. It means
standing up for equality. It is something to be proud of. Support the radical
notion that perhaps men and women are equal.
So what
are we so afraid of?! Step up and say it. Say you're a feminist. Say that you
are a feminist, because you believe in equality
